10/06/09
The big Fox News story of the day appears to be concerning a group of hostile raccoons in Florida who had the temerity to attack a grandmother. A grandmother! Seriously. Residents are on edge.
8/14/09
According to the Associated Press, police say a 61-year-old Savannah, Ga., woman chopped her 63-year-old boyfriend 20 times with an ax as he lay in bed. He's dead. A detective said the woman told police she was tired of being abused. Not sure who's at fault here, though 20 ax whacks might have been overkill.
8/11/09
A man died when he was impaled on a large shard of glass after throwing a woman through the window of a shop in the West End of London early Tuesday morning.
So says the Times of London. This guy banged the girl up against the Banana Republic window three times before cashing it in.
8/6/09
The Daily Mail reported this week that officials at a U.K. crematorium fined a woman whose baby died at 5 weeks from SIDS $173 because her grieving at the funeral ceremony pushed the service over the 30-minute time allotment. "The vicar had asked if I would like to spend a bit more time saying goodbye," the mother said. "I sat by the coffin for 10 minutes, telling my son how much we loved him and begging him not to be scared." By the way, the woman isn't the stupid one here.
Jennifer Frederich went to a Burger King on Sunday, Aug. 2, in Sunset Hills, Mo., according to news outlets. She had her 6-month-old daughter, Kaylin, in tow and also was accompanied by her own mother. Workers told them to leave because of the shoeless baby, citing a health-code violation. Burger King apologized the following Wednesday. It's a fucking baby, morons.
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