Growing Pains

Kirk Cameron appeared on my television a few days ago, not in a "Growing Pains" rerun, but as someone who knows what God wants me to do. So I got to thinking: What are Kirk's credentials for knowing what God wants or that God even exists?
Did his acting experience inform his religious perspective? Did Alan Thicke, who, after all, played a psychologist, help lead Kirk down this highway of discovery? Was it Tracey Gold, and her experience with anorexia, or did that kid who played Ben have a role? Maybe it was the burgeoning Leonardo DiCaprio who pushed Kirk down the highway of enlightenment.
Perhaps the more important question concerns why God chose Kirk, as opposed to, say, any one of his cast mates. His website, which, incidentally, plays the "Growing Pains" theme song, says Kirk was an atheist but then became a follower of Christ. The site also says he often receives invitations to share his story of faith at churches and schools, and a link invites you to hear that story. Clicking that link leads one to a site called wayofthemaster.com, where you can listen to and/or purchase ostensibly inspirational messages.
Now, Kirk and his wife are involved with a camp that provides a respite for terminally ill children and their families, a laudable endeavor. I don't know if they try to proselytize at Camp Firefly, but I did read an excerpt from Kirk's autobiography in which he engages the parent of one of the children in a conversation that sounds religiously judgmental.
I don't know Kirk Cameron. He may be a great guy. But he's on TV coming into my house telling me he knows what God wants me to do. And I know I can change the channel, but that's not the point. The point is that I don't believe that he knows. He, and those of his ilk, think they know. And were I to discuss it with him or any of the others face to face, they likely would say that I just haven't made the discovery yet. Again, faith isn't rational, so trying to counter a faith-based argument remains difficult, if not impossible.
Sometimes I have this fear that they're right and I have it all wrong. That I'm fucked in this life for my skepticism and failure to take comfort in religion and I'll be fucked in the next life because God will be there saying, "You should have believed, you stupid shit. I had all these people down there spreading the word and still you were skeptical. I gave you Kirk Cameron, dumb-ass, and still you failed to heed the call." And then he will banish me to Hell or whatever because God doesn't tolerate intellectual curiosity, let alone dissent. And in Hell I'll have to watch "Growing Pains" reruns for all eternity.
Kirk is telegenic, but does God really need to wrap his message in that kind of package? Why couldn't he have given the late Gary Coleman a chance? "What you talkin' 'bout, sinner?" Or Urkel? Or that girl who played Natalie on "Facts of Life"? I suppose Kirk appeals more to a certain demographic than your average religious zealot, so maybe a method does lie behind this madness. Maybe someday the joke will be on me, and all manner of religious faithful will revel in turning me away from that sought-after spot in the afterlife. No matter if I'm a good person.